“If you are here, you have either experienced or are experiencing your babies loss, and I want to start by saying I am so sorry for your loss, for your pain and for the season you are currently facing. My prayer is that God will use us and our experience to bring you some answers, comfort, or just to remind you that you know you are not alone.”

I heard so many stories since my loss of woman who went through their loss alone, whether it’s because of covid or simply because of the disconnection and fear of talking about their loss. If I’m honest, every story made my heart bleed as I know the devil LOVES to use isolation, where grief becomes darker and more painful and lonely.
I have written this post for those who are going through this with your husband (partner), and you may be at a crossroads feeling alone and unsure how to include him in your grief
Feel free to replace the word husband with either your husbands/partner name to make it feel more personal to you.

Not alone.

I constantly reminded myself that loneliness would only have been a choice rather than my only option. Although I am cautious and aware that you may be reading this as a single woman, please apply these principles to a family member or friend. (Church Family)


His baby to

I reminded myself that this wasn’t just my baby. She was my husbands baby also. Yes, this may have been my body, but that did not mean that my husband wasn’t just as much part of this journey as I was. He had to watch me suffer the pain of labour and go through delivering his baby; that was 100% a us moment. 

I did my 100% best to make sure he felt like this was his journey and not just something I was going through.

If you are going through this and you are tempted to shout, “but you do not know how I feel”, please remember this, yes, your husband may not physically feel your pain, but his heart is grieving too; his heart is breaking for you as his wife whilst trying to stay strong for you.

Men will never grieve in the same way as us, but I promise you the less you talk and include him, the more you will feel like he is distant from you and then blame him for not supporting you.


I made sure I spoke to my husband about everything that I was thinking and feeling, no matter how big or small it felt. We talked about our faith and making sure we stayed strong in the word; I believe this is a crucial step to make sure you are both standing on God’s word together. 

This does not mean we both felt like praying or reading the word or watching sermons, but it meant there was always one of us helping the other one to draw closer to God when the other one couldn’t.

We spoke about the process of what was happening every single step; we talked about our grief, our loss, our pain which we promised each other to be completely open with one another every step of the way. We created a safe zone for each other.

Let him help practically.

As women, we can think we are superwomen at times, right? Or independent, so we do not need any help? Or we like to have it all together! And as women, we like things a certain way in regards to cooking and cleaning. But I am sorry this is not realistic or possible when your heart is breaking into a million pieces and more. So this is where I prayed and asked God to help me just to let go, and this will be my prayer for you!

We discussed him taking care of the housework, the cooking, the laundry and help me to do the simplest things physically. This was a huge burden for my husband to take on, and he did his best. 

So please be patient with your husband during this time; of course, things won’t be done to your standards as, let’s face it, they never will, haha, but please sit back and accept the help and support and appreciate the efforts he is going through even though he is grieving too. Yeh, those last few words hit home. He is grieving too.

Drawer closer and not away.

This one is so valuable for your marriage or relationship! I have learned the hard way many times in my life that the devil lives to silence us, distance us and isolate us; well, my love, please listen carefully. DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD IN YOUR LOSS OR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP.

Use this burden, this obstacle, this test, your pain, your loss to draw closer to one another, not apart. Go through this together, pray through this together, stand on Gods word together! This is what we did, and I promise you, God has done some fantastic things for us; we are closer in every way, our marriage is rooted deeper in our faith and our relationship with God.

Lean on him.

Whenever I felt like I needed to cry or to talk about my pain, or if I felt like I needed a hug, whatever it may have been, I made sure I completely leant on my husband. I made sure I did not hold back my thoughts or tears, no matter how ugly it became. The amount of times he held me as I cried myself to sleep is countless. I was reminded that there is no such thing as pride or ego or looking like I got my life together in a time of loss.

Prayer, songs and scripture helped us through this time. (and continue to help us) 


Dear Lord, 

Lord, thank You for my husband. Marriage is truly a gift from You. Please help me to see that I am not in this alone. Would you please help me to stay connected to my husband during our season of loss?

Help us survive this storm that we are in and thrive and grow within it and draw closer to You and one another.

Please help us to see when the enemy tries to pull us apart. I ask that You would use those things to draw us even closer together. Would you please help us be vulnerable with one another, stand exposed, and yet feel no shame?

Help me be a comfort to my husband, listen without judgment, and respond with gentleness and grace. Give me eyes to see, Lord, that in You I have all that I need and to love my husband out of the overflow of my love for You.

In Jesus’ precious Name, Amen.


Promises: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1PonQaEtK0

Have my hearthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3Skc4MQlqU 

Praise you in the stormhttps://www.youtube.com/watch? v=t5jhtjLt0pg&list=PLXhWe5uvEV3lyngDmZ08-Icoudzpuz00p&index=2



Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Isaiah 41:10

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed (afraid), for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalm 18:28

For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord, my God, lightens my darkness.